Akul Nair takes on fellow blogger...

http://indicablogs.wordpress.com/2011/06/22/can-black-plum-mallu-kundy-overthrow-the-state/

Something I have added here for ma personal satisfaction. A message to all the Allophilic Indians out there who think whatever our government does is wrong......to the bunch of critics who think they can run the country better....and more specifically to those who feel that police should not book a case against guys wearing ultra low waist jeans in public. 

The Facebook Classification : A grouping of the users online based on shared virtual characteristics.

PREFACE

As I watch the alarming pace with which socialising and community building is moving online with social networking sites like Facebook (FB), I thought it would be a wise decision on my part to come out with a classification of the organisms existing in the virtual world, before a new age Linnaeus beats me to it. So that later on if there is a virtual world out there, I had like to be known as the 'Father of  virtual classification'. Now FB is used as the sample for the classification, which can equally apply to other websites too. Since there cannot be an organism in a virtual world, they would henceforth be referred to as a specimen. Based on my observation of FB, I have identified 6 classes each having their own unique characteristics and behaviour.  

THE CLASSIFICATION 

1. Swivel Chair critics: Since the days of arm chairs are long gone, I think it would be quite appropriate to rename the new generation of tech savy faultfinders as Swivel chair critics. These are the bunch whose chief purpose is to analyse and criticize issues- local and global. They dont shy away from voicing their opinion on anything and everything- be it a NASA space programme or the economic situation of Bolivia. They see themselves as a one man rebel gang up against the big bad world. However, the rebellion ends with their FB updates as they seldom do anything further.

Gender Stereotyping : Guys 60% Gals 40%

2. The self made philosopher: This is the Clint Eastwood meets Socrates kinda guy. He is smart (or thinks he is) and believes that other members of the Facebook are lost sheeps seeking his guidance. It is quite easy to identify this specimen..He preaches.. He teaches... He corrects others...He speaks even if he is not addressed to...

Gender Stereotyping : Guys 70% Gals 40%

3. The constant updater: Well there were days when people used to update info about themselves on FB. Info like where they were, or what they are planning to do this summer or their new job etc.etc...It was really helpful cos your friends and dear ones got to know what you were up to and keep in touch.Those were the pleasant days. But now things have changed thanks to this particular specimen..their updates go something like this... 'Cochin Tuskers VS Chennai Kings today' ..... ' India won toss....batting first'.... ya..rite as if we didnt know already. Then there is this 'Now watchin Citizen Kane' .... seriously...what I dont understand is... do these people actually pause their movie...go to FB...update their status...go back to movie...pause again..check for any comments on their update....reply to them...go back to movie...and continue this process till the very end...I mean... how can someone even enjoy a movie wen they do this. I also recently came across a guy who updated his status from a movie theatre...seriously dude...u got issues.

Gender stereotyping: 50 % Guys. 50 % Gals.

4. The ideological moron: Well..these are the guys who update or share religious teachings and propaganda  or political ideas on FB. Their updates usually start as a debate and end in a dispute. One Message to these guys - ' Religion/ Politics and Social Networking wont match'.

Gender stereotyping : 70% Guys. 30 % Gals.

5. The Facebook heroes: These are the Good Samaritans online. They voice their support to social causes, express their compassion to the unfortunate, share the inspirational videos, collude against the evil... amongst others. These are activists online and you can find a generous share of this specimen in your friend's list (if you are not Osama Bin Laden...that is).

Gender stereotyping : 50% Guys. 50 % Gals. 

6. The Gullible: This specimen can be identified by one major characteristics. These are the people who try out the various FB applications irrespective of their relevance. You can find them trying out links like 'What Star Wars character are you?' or 'What kind of a dog are you?'....seriously who wants to know these stuff... They might be trying these just for fun...or cos they have nothing better to do... but this specimen is quite conspicuous- The Gullibles.

Gender stereotyping : 5 % Guys. 95 % Gals. You can call me an MCP...but the fact remains...Research has proven that Gals are more prone to such apps than guys. 

EPILOGUE

This classification is not exhaustive and the members of a class may share the traits of other classes as well. 

Award Functions- A prime time disgrace.

Last week, happened to watch the Stardust Film awards on Set Max channel. Film awards used to be an entertaining prospect. It was the night when the superstars of the Silver Screen got together- celebrating, performing, sharing a lighter moment, winning... but all that was in the past. Today, award ceremonies have been reduced to a 320 minute fiasco that does everything other than recognize the talents in the industry.

Rewind to the 90s when the channels were a few and award functions lesser. We had the Filmfare awards,  which is still considered as the most prestigious award for commercial cinema and equivalent to the Oscars. Then somewhere along the way came the Screen awards, followed by Zee awards; and by the beginning of the 21st century we had six major award functions- each claiming to reward the year's best performers in Bollywood. Now, you must not have missed the emphasis given to the word 'claiming'- thats cos... these function do only just that. The judgement in these awards are constantly accused of being biased and manipulated by the power houses of Bollywood. Awarding Akshay Kumar the best actor for Tees mar Khan and House Full is a living example of the fact that favoritism applies to award functions too. Well lets not get into questioning the credibility of the functions cos we were talking bout the entertainment part..were we not?

Well today, award functions have become a painful way of spending your weekend - what with all the crude jokes that do not impress anyone or the lack of ingenuity in presentation. I recall a few earlier editions of the Filmfare award hosted by SRK and Saif- those were fun. Even though,  the hosts went about pulling a fast one on their colleagues, it was fun to watch. However the Sajid Khans of today have stuck on to the insult others philosophy, but without any element of fun to it. Small time actors and technicians are made fun of, while false praises are offered to the legends of Hindi cinema.  There are also instances when a lesser known actor makes random appearances during the show trying to entertain the crowd, but failing miserably.

But coming to last week, I saw something which I feel is the height senselessness (if there ever is a word like that) and what coaxed me to write this piece.

I mean seriously, how could Sonu Sood agree to a stunt like that??? Either he is really broke and helpless or his brain must be the size of a peanut..... Anyway, that was like the final nail in the coffin. Don't think I will be watching a film award function in the near future. Before I leave, I will leave you with the footage of an incident that happened a few years back at the screen awards. At least someone in the industry shares my feelings and is not afraid to say so.